Sherry Curran: A Courageous Mom Escapes an Abusive Marriage and Creates the Life of Her Dreams

I’ve faced many big fears and overcome many great obstacles in my life.

Here is my story.

After I had my son in 2005, my husband and I moved to Ohio, away from all family support. In July 2009, when I decided to get out of our toxic marriage I was scared. Far from home, I essentially went though this traumatic event alone, except for a few comforting visits from friends.

The divorce was finalized in June 2010 and I thought I would be happy, but life as a single mom was difficult. To top it off, I had just accepted a promotion at work. Job responsibilities increased along with my stress level. Despite the promotion, every month, I was taking money out of savings to pay bills. Overwhelmed emotionally, I had a nervous breakdown. For three weeks, even the simplest tasks were too much for me. Family and friends came to my rescue to care for my son and I until I was finally able to start taking care of myself.

During my recuperation, I took medical leave from work and began seeing a therapist. After having a horrible experience with the one person you expect to be a lending ear and support system I was back to square one. The self-esteem I had been building was gone and had to take another leave of absence from work. During that time my twin sister invited me to move to California and live with her family. I grew up there and had always wanted to raise my son close to my sister and her daughter. Now was my chance to make that dream come true. I made the decision, we were moving to California.

Initially my ex seemed to accept the move, but true to his abusive nature, he did not let the move transpire easily. He played mind games to keep me from making solid plans and tried to block me from getting money that was legally allotted to me in the divorce. Finally I got the courage to tell him we were moving to California whether he liked it or not. That unleashed a bit of fury. I had five months to sell everything and get the house rented. There were a million details to figure out. With no job, little funds to survive and only the assurance that my sister would let me stay as long as I needed we finally made it to California. Utterly depleted, I collapsed for several days, but I had made my dream come true.

First on the agenda in California, was getting rest and back up to speed. Of course there were a million details to take care of, but I was happy to be there and happy to finally be in a caring, loving family. Before I left Ohio, I planned to reinvent myself in California. I wanted to have my own business. I wasn’t sure what that would be, but I knew I never wanted to work in an office for someone else again. I was determined to create a business I was passionate about.

That was short-lived however. My naïve vision of the perfect family was not going to come to fruition. It proved to be too difficult for my sister and her husband to have my son and I live with them. Tensions were running high and it was uncomfortable in the home. After an altercation my sister told me to leave. Evan and I went to a hotel down the street. I knew then that my dream of living happily with my sister was over. After five days, my sister told me we couldn’t move back into the house, but offered a place in the trailer they have parked in their driveway. This was one week before Christmas.

Trailer life was not fun. There was no running water and it stunk. I knew I had to get us out and into an apartment. Financially I was not prepared for that kind of move. I did not have a job yet, I had not fully recovered, and there was no solace from my sister. For the second time in six months I moved us by myself. I was depressed, but kept going because of my little boy.

After this experience, I realize everything happens for a reason. There is a lot of good that has come out of this move. The community at large has helped us tremendously. Evan’s teacher is some kind of angel. After she learned what we were going through, we were showered with gift cards, food and cash assistance from the school community. They also put me in touch with another woman, who put the word out to her church congregation. We didn’t have anything for our apartment, but suddenly people who did not even know me furnished my entire apartment. Friends came and delivered more furniture and a pantry full of groceries. The support in this community has been overwhelming and I feel truly blessed.

Evan and I are happy here now. I have my life back under control, found balance, and learned how to let go of the pain and forgive my sister, her husband and myself. We are slowly mending our relationship. I haven’t given up my dream to create a business and work for myself. It lives within my soul and I feel it everyday. I’ve gotten involved with a “life coach” group and have partnered with someone from that group to create a business. We have great ideas and I know I will make that dream come true as well.

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