I always enjoy the ride home at the end of the week. It is a time to reflect on the positives, negatives, triumphs and mistakes. I’m not perfect, never have been, nor will ever be and because of this I have learned some valuable lessons in life. For over 11 years now, I have been sober. On January 2, 2013 it will be 12 years. I am not bringing this up to brag or to show how proud of myself I am. After all, there are over 50 million people in this country that do not drink either, but they are not alcoholics, I am.

My story is hard to believe. People who knew me growing up remember me as the guy most likely to succeed, football quarterback, president of three campus clubs, cofounder of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes and Mr. OHS. OK, enough I know, but stay with me. These hometown friends can hardly imagine ever seeing me drunk, much less an alcoholic. However, the other half of my friends from my college years have witnessed me at my worst and could never imagine me sober. I went from one extreme to the other.

I started college and pledged a fraternity. At the time, I didn’t really understand what it was, but I was willing to give it a try. It was a good fit for my personality, until my drinking made me a different person. Truthfully no one wanted to be around me. Don’t get me wrong, I made friends, friends I will never forget, but I also lost friends, friends I can never get back. I have made amends with some, but once someone sees you in that state it is hard for them to look at you in the same light. This took me a while to figure out. The first time I saw myself drunk on video I was embarrassed and humiliated, but that became one of the tools that led me to my sobriety.

Due to my addiction, I have had many missed opportunities, but my life is not over. I miss the people I hurt and lost along the way. I am blessed by the people who have prayed for me and helped me and also for the people I have helped and will continue to help. It is a tremendous blessing and continuous therapy for me to help others.

This addiction has given me a complete understanding of the theory that when someone is addicted to something whether it be alcohol, drugs or gambling nothing else matters, NOTHING! The user is only thinking about themselves. The alcoholic is “married” to the bottle, not the wife, hence my divorce. I chose not to get back into a relationship until I got my life back in order because it is not fair to the other person. I have regrets, but I cannot live in the past, good or bad. I am not drinking anymore, but I am also not a State Officer or Mr. OHS anymore. I realize it is important for me to live in the moment, today because it is still “day to day” for me.

My life has made some great strides because of my daily relationship with Jesus. I pray with passion, like I have one last prayer to give. He will make a difference. If alcohol didn’t control my life for 19 years, would I be somewhere else? Probably, but we can’t cry about it now. Instead, now, I must continue on this path and help as many people as I can and follow God’s will. This is just a synopsis of my battles and my victories. I cannot and will not judge anyone and although I can preach when called upon or needed it is really not my style. I would rather “show you” than preach to you. Hopefully people will see the same light in me today they saw when I was 16-19 yrs. old.

 

Your friend,

Jim Knight

 

 

© 2012 Inspired Living, LLC

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