What is your body language saying about you?

September 23, 2013

As entrepreneurs, we are constantly out there trying to prove ourselves and our unique product or service we bring to the marketplace. We spend hours on our marketing and message but we rarely think about the one thing that people notice first…how we show up, aka our body language.

I am sure you’ve heard the statistic, 90% of ALL communication is non-verbal. So why aren’t we paying more attention to this? Because it’s easier to get caught up in the “doing” while forgetting about who we are “being”. If our marketing and messaging is spot on then who cares how we show up? Your potential clients do!
Body language and facial expressions speak much louder than words.

Did you know…

Humans produce up to 700,000 different signs.
The human face is capable of over 250,000 expressions.
There are roughly 5,000 distinct hand gestures.
And 1,000 different postures. (who knew?!)

When working with a prospect, the confident expert image you are trying to convey could be completely blown by something as simple as a smile.

I had the pleasure of meeting and hearing Sharon Saylor speak at an eWomen’s luncheon. She is a body language expert who educates women and men about the hidden dangers of the non-verbal statements they are making in business. These have the potential to ruin a deal, diminish credibility and create doubt. But knowing this and being more conscious of the way you position your body, communicate with your hands and the expressions you have on your face, could make you more successful.

“There are a lot of nuances to what’s being sent unintentionally,” Sayler says. “We need to understand messages we’re sending and be strategic. When you’re not getting the response you want, you need to think about why.”

“Businesswomen will ask why they aren’t being taken seriously … and it’s often because their body language communicates ‘little girl’,” Sayler says. “Many of these poses, while acceptable in social situations, make women in the business world look small and unimposing.”

It is time to exude confidence and squash those diminishing poses. Not only will others see the change but YOU will feel the change. “Little girl” poses elevate the stress hormone, cortisol, making a woman feel less confident, whereas a power stance like the ‘Wonder Woman’ pose changes her body chemistry so that she feels more confident and successful,” says Sayler.

Here are the top five diminishing poses to avoid during business interactions:

1. Crossing your ankles while standing.

Oh the joys of being a woman and wearing high heels! We all love wearing them. They make us feel confident and sexy, but sometimes they can be a little painful. Am I right? Women have a tendency to stand with their ankles crossed, especially while wearing high heels, because it is more comfortable. “This however gives the impression that you are shy and insignificant,” says Sayler.

Try instead to stand with confidence, back straight and ankles uncrossed. If you are unable to stand this way in heels, try a fashionable pair of flats.

2. Fig leaf pose with hands while standing.

Think Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. The “fig leaf pose”, named by Sayler, consists of holding your hands over your groin area as if your hands are a fig leaf.

Women and men are guilty of this pose. To an outsider, it appears that you are unimportant. Instead stand with your arms hanging comfortably to your sides or with your elbows slightly bent and hands clasped together lightly. You could even hold a tablet or book. Do not hold a cell phone. This indicates that you do not have time.

3. Tilting your head.

Many women tilt their heads while listening to someone speak. This is to acknowledge that they are hearing and understanding the other person. This gesture may appear to others that they are confused or agree with the speaker. This may not be the case. To avoid this misinterpretation, Sayler suggests keeping your chin parallel to the ground and if you need to acknowledge what the speaker is saying, nod.

4. Coy eye contact.

Flirtatious gestures are OK in social situations, but not in business interactions. When a woman drops her chin and looks out high up in her eye sockets, this is a submissive gesture. “We tend to drop our chins when we feel insecure, but the more we do that, the more insecure we feel,” says Sayler. Instead, make good eye contact and again keep your chin parallel to the ground. This communicates intelligence and sincere interest in what is being said.

5. Nervous habits.

Fidgeting, picking, playing with jewelry or twisting your hair are a few habits that give off a nervous energy. If you want to be taken seriously and you feel those habits creeping up, focus on your breathing.
“Nervous habits tend to come out when you’re breathing rapidly,” Sayler says. “Train yourself to breathe low and comfortably, and your nervous twitches will disappear.”

Now you know what postures and habits to avoid and what to replace them with. Be more conscious of your body language and take a stance that will promote success, instead of unintentionally hindering it. Ludwig Wittgenstein said, “The human body is the best picture of the human soul.”

You know you are the expert in your field, give off that impression so others will recognize that within you!

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Keri Murphy and the Inspired Living team is on a mission to empower people to use their unique talents in a way that allows them to Dream, Live and BE all that is possible through speaking, coaching, celebrity interviews and original on-line content. Get Inspired at inspiredliving.tv

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