We have all been there, you make a mistake or bad decision and regret starts to settle in. Perhaps it was a relationship that went south or a poor business decision. Whatever the “mistake” we all make them. I remember when I closed my talent agency in 2008, I was brought to knees with “should of’s” and “could of’s” but the fact was, there was NOTHING I could do to change it. As difficult as that situation was, I wouldn’t ever take it back. It created “Inspired Living” and allowed me grow in ways I could’ve never imagined for myself.
Learning and growing is often associated with regret. Our lives becomes laced with those “should have’s” and “could have’s.” Each of these experiences is actually a learning opportunity. If those events had not been a part of life, maybe you would not be the knowledgeable, strong person you are today.
In a recent article, Martha Beck told Oprah, “There are two time zones, the past and the future, where you can choose to make regret’s powerful energy healing rather than destructive. Both can be transformed by what you decide to do right now, in this moment.”
So here is my proposal to you. Rid negative thoughts. Start living a life without regret. In essence, I want you to regret proof your life.
Jane McGonigal, PhD and world renowned designer of alternate reality games that are designed to improve lives and solve problems shared the top 5 most common regrets of the dying expressed to hospice workers.
“I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”
“I wished I’d stayed in touch with my friends.”
“I wished I’d let myself be happier.”
“I wish I had the courage to express my true self.”
“I wish I’d led a life true to my dreams and not what others expected of me.”
Learn how to make sure that these common regrets won’t become your own. Live up to your full potential and embrace a rich and fulfilling life by taking into account these few small regrets.
“I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”
Work to live, don’t live to work. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am a proponent of working hard in business and pursuing the life of your dreams, but NOT at the cost of your life. People use the excuse “I am too busy”, “I need the money” or “I don’t have the time”. These excuses will continue to stack up as you continue to justify your frantic, busy life, unhappy life. Don’t look back and wish you lived the life you loved instead of being run by work. Make that commitment to yourself today.
“I wished I’d stayed in touch with my friends.”
Studies show that your happiness level increases with the connections and support system you have. In the age of technology, we are lucky to have many EASY means of connecting with one another. Reaching out to a friend doesn’t always have to be a long phone conversation or a long handwritten letter. Send a simple text or drop a quick note to tell that person you are thinking about them.
“I wished I’d let myself be happier.”
Our days are full of necessary tasks: family obligations, work meetings and running errands. What if you allowed yourself the time to have more fun? Start out scheduling time for you each week or month. This time should not involve anything that is “necessary”. Start to see what a little R&R and FUN can do for your life.
“I wish I had the courage to express my true self.”
Who are you? What do you truly want? So many of us are too afraid to connect with out true selves and embrace who we really are. Be proud and happy to show that to others. Chances are others will love to see the genuine, beautiful YOU that you have been hiding inside.
“I wish I’d led a life true to my dreams and not what others expected of me.”
We grown up and learn to take on the expectations of others. We are afraid of disappointment, rejection or chaos in the eyes of others if we live the life of our dreams. When we’re not being true to ourselves and instead do what we think others want of us we end up feeling resentful, angry and jealous. So speak up, stand up and live a life that is true to you and your dreams.
Don’t look back on your life and wish it had been different. Start regret proofing today.
Beck said, “… the ultimate lesson of regret, the one that will help guide you into a rich and satisfying future, is this: Every time life brings you to a crossroads, from the tiniest to the most immense, go toward love, not away from fear. Think of every choice in terms of “What would thrill and delight me?” rather than “What will keep my fear — or the events, people, and things I fear — at bay?“”
Use past regrets as a guide to steer clear of poor decisions and start a more satisfying future.
Shine ON!!
© 2012 Inspired Living, LLC
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Keri Murphy and the Inspired Living team is on a mission to empower people to use their unique talents in a way that allows them to Dream, Live and BE all that is possible through speaking, coaching, celebrity interviews and original on-line content. Get Inspired at inspiredliving.tv
